getting back on track

~~ my house is a very, very, very fine house. 

with [ahem] five cats and a dog, and this little blog ~~

but it no longer feels like my home. i am so very uncertain what to do.

there are many wonderful things about the house, but at the end of the day, it is way too big for just one person. or, more accurately, it feels way too big for just this person. sure, the menagerie benefits from the extra space, but we all tend to congregate in the same room at the same time anyhow. and, sure, i am definitely attached to the whole concept of having a house, particularly, a yard and a large kitchen and a driveway and ... 

but this, this was our house. a street-small, inside-large surprise find that fit many parts and times of our life well. it was our joint - our joint labor of love, joint project, joint undertaking, joint responsibility. and i am finding it hard to make much effort when i am here, drifting amidst a sea of artifacts and memories from an imperfectly shared life that has simply taken a different path than i could have anticipated.

so i hope by sharing, i can focus on the better memories and i can find the energy to move ahead. no matter what the future holds, there's always something to be done around here (not exactly on The Money Pit scale, but still).

the more immediate list?

figure out how to restring the weed whacker so i don't have to invite mom or dad back to edge the yard again this growing season (thanks again for all the help, y'all) and finish cleaning out the front flower beds. also, eradicate the reemerging poison ivy with the help of a little herbicide.

check the sump pump. i had it replaced 18 months ago, but i'm not sure it's working. there's evidence that muddy water made an appearance in the basement bathroom during the last big rains.

have the gutters cleaned, the roof repaired (again) and the upstairs bathroom replastered (again). i wish i wasn't afraid of heights; perhaps i could see what's wrong with the roof or clean the gutters myself.

back to more pictures and less overshare next time. promise. thanks for listening though and feel free to check up on me and how well i am accomplishing the to-do list.